This summer has been one for the books. Did I go on some great vacation? No. What did I do? I spent the whole summer in my new, apartment. Spending time with my boyfriend and having so much from. From concerts to sports matches...
This was an old, draft from 2014. Oh, how young and naïve I was. How I thought things were perfect, when in reality I was just living a lie. Looking back at these posts, I wish I had gone with my gut feeling. I wish I had listened to the alarms going off in my head, paid attention to the red flags that continued to pop up.
I didn't though. I stayed, until it all came crashing down. Tears, anger, hatred, hurt. These are all just lessons learned though. 9 months later, I'm a better person now. More mature, more perceiving, maybe a little less vulnerable. It's how things are so clear in retrospect. To this day, scenarios pop into my head that I now can comprehend, ever so clearly.
What I don't understand is how someone can continue to lie and deceive day after day, month after month, year after year. Doesn't that get tiring? How do you keep up with all of the lies? How do you find the time to entertain so many people? How can you continue to keep a façade up for your closest of family and friends? Who is the real you?
Fast forward to today--- here I am, January 15. 2018. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. 24. Single. World traveler. Young Professional. Attractive. Smart. Funny. Looks like I can do bad all myself, huh?
This is true. However, as crappy as the relationship boiled down to being, I miss having that one confidant that you can tell anything to. I miss having that default +1. I miss having that person who knows all there is to know about you.
Will I find this person again? Only time will tell.
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